Book Byte #333 "Not Nice" by Dr. Aziz Gazipura
Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty... And Start Speaking Up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, And Unapologetically Being Yourself
📣 Curious Quotes from the Author
“Here’s the thing. You are not responsible for other people’s feelings. They’re not incompetent children. They’re adults who can handle their own feelings. They can work through disappointment, hurt, anger, sadness, and upset. In fact, doing so will make them stronger and healthier in the long run. You cannot stop others from feeling all discomfort, or all pain. It is an impossible task, a fool’s errand.”
“And if comfort is a prerequisite for action, then you will never take action.”
“I discovered that being nice can make us secretly less loving and more burnt out over time as we stray further and further from our authentic selves.”
“At its core, being nice is about being liked by others by making everything smooth. No waves, no friction. It’s based on this (woefully inaccurate) theory: If I please others, give them everything they want, keep a low profile, and don’t ruffle feathers or create any discomfort, then others will like me, love me, and shower me with approval and anything else I want”
“Being nice does not come out of goodness or high morals. It comes out of a fear of displeasing others and receiving their disapproval. It’s driven by fear, not virtue. In fact, I discovered that being nice can make us secretly less loving and more burnt out over time as we stray further and further from our authentic selves.”
“I saw that clients who were trying the hardest to be nice people also felt the most anxious, guilty, and frustrated.”
“The opposite of nice is being real.”
“The opposite of nice is knowing who you are, what you believe in, and what you value. It’s you being powerful and going after what you want because you are no longer held back by the fear of what others will think of you. It’s you being fierce, determined, and courageous. It’s you being your best self.”
“one of the biggest traps of niceness is the pressure to stay nice. It’s the idea that being a nice person is the same thing as being a good person.”
“You have a right to be here. You belong. You matter. Why? Just because. You exist on this planet and you have a right to be here just as much as anyone else.”
📚 Cognition of the Book’s Big Idea
Freedom and personal fulfillment are unlocked when one stops being too kind. You may prioritize your needs guilt-free by embracing healthy selfishness, letting go of the desire for approval, and creating boundaries. Being courageous helps you become more self-assured, strengthen your bonds with others, and live a more meaningful life. Through consistent practice, you may change not just how you engage with people but also how you live your life, building a future full of sincere relationships and self-worth.
Until Tomorrow,
Jason (Founder Club255)