Book Byte #92 "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie

Basic rules for how to make a good first impression

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📣 Curious Quotes from the Author

“It isn't what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.”

“Don't be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of the friends who flatter you.”

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

“Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn—and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.”

“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.”

“Everybody in the world is seeking happiness—and there is one sure way to find it. That is by controlling your thoughts. Happiness doesn't depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions.”

“Talk to someone about themselves and they'll listen for hours.”

“Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, ‘I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you.’ That is why dogs make such a hit. They are so glad to see us that they almost jump out of their skins. So, naturally, we are glad to see them.”

“Personally I am very fond of strawberries and cream, but I have found that for some strange reason, fish prefer worms. So when I went fishing, I didn’t think about what I wanted. I thought about what they wanted. I didn't bait the hook with strawberries and cream. Rather, I dangled a worm or grasshopper in front of the fish and said: "Wouldn't you like to have that?" Why not use the same common sense when fishing for people?”

“You can't win an argument. You can't because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it.”

“A man convinced against his will Is of the same opinion still”

“To be interesting, be interested.”

“Names are the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

“I have come to the conclusion that there is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument— and that is to avoid it. Avoid it as you would avoid rattlesnakes and earthquakes.”

“All men have fears, but the brave put down their fears and go forward, sometimes to death, but always to victory” was the motto of the King’s Guard in ancient Greece.”

“If you want to gather honey, don't kick over the beehive.”

“Why talk about what we want? That is childish. Absurd. Of course, you are interested in what you want. You are eternally interested in it. But no one else is. The rest of us are just like you: we are interested in what we want.”

“Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness. “To know all is to forgive all.”

“Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person's precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.”

“If some people are so hungry for a feeling of importance that they actually go insane to get it, imagine what miracle you and I can achieve by giving people honest appreciation this side of insanity.”

“By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you expected.”

“Only knowledge that is used sticks in your mind.”

“arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.”

“If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes; but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponent's good will.”

“Winning friends begins with friendliness.”

📚 Cognition of the Book’s Big Idea:

To summarize, becoming truly influential entails seeking to comprehend the opinions of others around you. Everyone wants to be heard, understood, and made to feel significant. If you can do these things for others, you will always be in favor.

Set a challenge.

If you're constantly attempting and failing to motivate employees, try reawakening their natural sense of competition. All you need to do is establish a mechanism to evaluate your employees' performance and publicly recognize the top performers. Often, you won't even need to present a gift; healthy competition is enough to wake up a sleeping workforce.

🛠️Fixing the Tech Industry

We all want friends. We all want to be generally liked. We all just don’t want to be lonely. The best way to get all of those is be a sympathetic listener. Nothing lets people’s guard down than being both seen and heard!

Think about a situation if you were you meet someone famous you admire. Now what if they listened you, loved an idea you had, invited you to lunch and hired you to wor on their team, that would be a dream scenario, wouldn’t it?

Well they don’t have to be famous in this situation, they could all do this because you listened to them and you made what they think iwhat’s important to them is important to you. You can use this Friendship hack with anyone.

🤝Collaborate with others with this Social Media Prompt:

What’s the one bad trait you have when it comes to interacting with other people that you can work on to get more friends and be a better influence to others?